Recently, while watching Downton Abbey, I found myself curious about those upper class women. What do they do all day? They have no television, no jobs, no cellphones, no status updates. How boring their life must be! Then, after I managed to stop sniveling, again, I started thinking; maybe it would be nice not to be so connected all the time. I kept contemplating this all the way to my computer and through two hours of Facebook stalking—scrolling, whatever. I still couldn’t shake the feeling.
Now, my husband has zero interest in Facebook. That’s some crazy shit right there. He checks it maybe once a week and that’s because he gets email reminders. He thinks I have a problem with too much Facebooking. I told him he doesn’t understand. It’s my actor lifeline! I can’t go for days without looking at it! What if I miss a casting? Or pictures from my last set? Or word that a script is being written? Or the 17th job my fellow actor has booked in only the last 3 weeks? Or to find out I didn’t book the job it went to my younger, prettier, more talented competition? I can’t live without seeing these things get the hell out of the way I NEED TO CHECK MY NOTIFICATIONS!!
So maybe I do have a small problem. And I’m guessing I may not be the only one. I’ve created a list of signs that may point to too much social media.
- You take your phone to the bathroom with you. Cuz hey- you may be taking a poo but that shouldn’t get in the way of seeing how many people like your new headshot.
- You write a status update and if you don’t get any response within 5 minutes, you remove it. You can’t have anything on your timeline that’s not the most compelling shit to hit the net.
- You comment on a successful filmmaker’s status, who you don’t really know, to see if they’ll ‘like’ your comment. And if they don’t- you feel you’ve failed as an actor.
- You start physically getting ill if you don’t check your page at least every two hours.
- You talk about how awesome you were that you made it through a whole dinner without checking your phone! Nevermind that it was fast food.
- You share your new headshot and ask for feedback and retreat to a dark place when you don’t get as many comments as the other guys did.
- Your kid tries to hide your phone because ‘mommy doesn’t pay attention to me while she’s on Facebook’. Ouch.
- After attending a screening for your new film you dash to Facebook to see the buzz and after no one’s said a word, you drop an app at Starbucks. Because Facebook validation is everything.
- You’re on the treadmill at the gym and your phone dings. You almost kill yourself and take out your neighbor trying to check your notification.
- And last but not least- your mom pleads with you to keep your Facebook going because it’s how she knows what’s going on in your life.
So, because I fall into many of these categories, I’ve decided to take a break from the Facebook. I’ve cold turkey-ed it. I hit that deactivate button in all my indignant glory. Then I told them yes I was sure I wanted to deactivate. And yes it’s only temporary good God. Yes I can give you my password, how hard you gonna make this?!! Oh balls, the two hidden words are EFF YOU ZUCKERBERG.
It’s only been a few hours and oddly enough I feel a bit lighter. A bit relieved. No cold sweats, no foggy vision. Hopefully it lasts.
*UPDATE: I lasted 6 hours. Not too shabby!
What are your thoughts on social media and the filmmaking world?